Generally, students have trouble with specifics in the body paragraphs
of their essays. They tend to forget that they have to PROVE their
assertions to the reader. Here is a sample:
Yoga is a very beneficial method of connecting mind, body and
spirit. People who practice yoga claim that they feel
stronger. They also claim that their minds are clearer. In
addition, they feel that they are more connected to the earth and to other
human beings. It seems, then, that yoga can help people in many ways.
This paragraph does not prove its assertions because nearly every
sentence has the same level of specificity. When we finish reading this
paragraph, we've not learned very much about yoga's benefits; the writer
has not convinced us with examples. No sub-points exist under the
general statements.
The following is a paragraph with more focus and
specificity:
Yoga benefits people who practice it in many ways (mind, body,
spirit), but most are interested in yoga's effect on the body.
(topic sentence) When I began yoga, three years ago, I
was a
jogger and swimmer. I very much liked an aerobic workout, one that got my
heart beating fast, so I was suspicious of the seeming slowness of yoga.
(specific detail level) In fact, I was amazed at how sore I
was
after a one and 1/2 hour class.
After I learned a few asanas (poses),I realized how much energy and
concentration it took to hold a pose and breathe appropriately.
(even more specific detail level) Now that
I no longer have to concentrate so much on pose correctness nor breathing
in
and out slowly through my nose, I find that I can really get a workout as
I go through a twenty-minute flow series without stopping. (VERY
specific detail level) In addition, I have more upper body
strength
than
I've ever had. (more specific detail level) Certain central
asanas
(poses) require a kind of slow push-up, not to mention handstands.
(VERY specific detail level) I've become a yoga believer and I
no
longer jog, so probably my knees are going to last a bit longer than they
might have. Also, I look forward to going to yoga; sometimes jogging was a
chore.(specific detail level)
Note the various levels of specificity in this paragraph: the
levels
move from specific, to more specific, to VERY specific levels in the
middle, then back to the more specific level, and finally, returning to
the general level of specificity at the beginning of the paragraph.
If your paragraphs move toward pentultimate specificity in the
middle,
they will give your readers enough convincing examples to prove your
assertions.