Comments about Essay Four

COMPREHENSION: This writer demonstrates a thorough understanding of the article and its presentation of the supply and demand constraints of the airline industry.

ORGANIZATION: This essay is well-organized with a clear, strong thesis. Although the introductory paragraph and summary is quite long and reveals the writer's tendency to be a bit wordy, it does show the author's understanding of the topic and of argumentation. The writer has a thorough understanding of how topic sentences work and of paragraph organization.

DEVELOPMENT: This is one of the strongest areas of the essay. The examples and specific details support the writer's thesis. The details on marketing basics and the airline industry are particularly persuasive. In addition, this writer demonstrates self-awareness and maturity as he points to the way in which all of us can be rude or self-focused.

EXPRESSION: The essay's tone and writer's voice give authority to the argument. Rhetorical questions are used to his/her advantage. Only one or two word usage/spelling errors occur. Most of the sentences have varied syntax, but occasional repetition and wordiness slightly mar this very strong essay.