Just
a few recent examples of the dumb things broadcast and published in the name of
marketing and PR…
From a new
Jeep TV commercial – the one where the volcano spits out an SUV:
“Dropping a vehicle is only safe in commercials.”
Instead,
why don’t we say it’s just really stupid in commercials.
(It is, of course, more stupid in real life.)
From Fox
television:
“If you missed last week’s
If I
missed it last week, how can I see it again?
From
“The new Matrix. It’s something else.”
Just exactly what does
And if I wanted to buy a car, why
would I buy “something else”?
The folks at Daisy Sour Cream have
invented a word even Webster doesn’t recognize:
“Start your day with a smile and a dopple.”
From
“
How could
From
General Motors:
“Buick: The spirit of American
style.”
I dare you: Explain this one to me,
in concrete terms.
From a
marketing person at Packard Bell who flunked English 101:
“
Hello. I are a marketing person at Packard Bell. Does
you liked my slogan?
A syrupy
slogan from Aunt Jemima:
“Aunt Jemima makes mornings they'll
remember.”
Yeah? So does Jack Daniels.
Here’s one
from the pharmaceudicals industry:
“Detrol: The #1 prescribed brand for
overactive bladder.”
Oh- you mean for people who piss
uncontrollably?
From Mr.
Coffee:
“Mr. Coffee: The best I’ve ever
tasted.”
It is awfully hard to believe these
words coming from Joe DiMaggio, who at one time was the world’s highest-paid
professional athlete and was married to Marilyn Monroe.
Surely he had tasted
something better.
A slogan that’s beyond stupid, from Haines Underwear:
“A man can't
swing if his underwear doesn't.”
Sorry, Haines,
I really don’t want or need you swinging inside my pants.
Obviously the idiots at Kellogg’s
were in the same English class as the folks from Packard Bell. One of Kellogg’s
cereal slogans:
“Taste them again, for the first time.”
Cheesy
rhetoric from Kraft:
“It's the cheesiest.”
How sad to think somebody working
for Kraft got paid for this little slice of stupidity.
From a TV commercial for Reebok
shoes:
“Because life is not a spectator
sport.”
Not true, Reebok. In fact, TV
watching is the #1 American pastime, by far.
Another bitter
coffee slogan:
“Savarin:
The coffee-er coffee.”
I think I’ll have some cheesier
cheese to go with my coffee-er coffee.
From our
friends at Smuckers:
“With a name like Smuckers, it's GOT to be good.”
As long as you don’t think about the
fact Smuckers rhymes with f*ckers.
For one of
those products that shouldn’t be advertised during dunner:
“For when you get that not-so-fresh
feeling.”
Oh, you mean that ‘there’s something
icky in my pants’ feeling?
Have you
seen a stupid real life slogan used to market a product or service?
Tell me
about it! dswanson@calpoly.edu
Douglas J. Swanson, Ed.D, APR
© 2005